My name is Dixie Tantardini, and I’m a Reiki Master, and Karuna Reiki® Master, psychic, medium and spiritual healer based in Orange County, California. From a very early age, I have been able to communicate with the other side using my ability to utilize all my ‘clairs’ to receive information and messages from Spirit. My major clairs being: Clairvoyance (clear seeing), Clairsentience (clear feeling), Claircognizance (clear knowing), Clairaudient (clear hearing), Empathy (emotions), and my minor clairs: Clairgustation (clear tasting), and Clairolfaction (clear smelling). Helping people heal physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually is my passion, and true calling in this life. I provide a wide range of services including: Reiki Energy/Spiritual Healing, along with long distance Reiki Healing, Psychic Readings, Mediumship Sessions, Animal Communication and Healing, House & Object Cleansing, Forensic Mediumship/Missing Persons, Assisting Souls to the Light, and much more!
I was born with very special gifts, that seemed like a curse in my early childhood and teen years. From an early age, I was able to speak to deceased loved ones, had profound dreams and premonitions, and could connect with animals, angels, guides and higher beings. At the time, I had no idea what I was doing, or who I was talking to, and unfortunately, they weren’t always from the light.
I was raised in an extremely abusive household, with an extremely Narcissistic mother and a father with Asburgers Syndrome. I was abused physically, verbally, mentally, emotionally, and sometimes sexually in unconventional ways, with the bulk of it coming from my mother… my first bully. Both of my brothers were also born with Asburger Syndrome, and my younger sister with an undiagnosed mental illness, so naturally, I thought I was crazy for seeing and hearing things that weren’t physically there. Any time I would attempt to tell my mother about my spiritual experiences, she would shut me down, and tell me not to say anything to anyone because they would put me in the ‘crazy house’. So, being a child trying to please my parents, I attempted to compress my abilities the best I could, and not talk about it to anyone… but could never really hide from it.
My home was literally haunted with all kinds of spirit activity, with the resident ghost named, Edmund that was the previous owner of the house. He was my first interaction and memory with the spirit realm, and unfortunately, would scare me terribly at night. I also had dreams almost every night that were invaded by spirits and entities that hadn’t crossed into the light that were asking for my help. I would actually cross spirits over, not knowing how, or what I was doing. Looking back at my experience with that now, it’s amazing that I was able to do that at such a young age! I was also completely unaware of the extent of my abilities, and through Psychokinesis Energy Manifesting, I was unknowingly creating negative entities around me, and attracting them to me because of terrible traumatic events happening in my childhood that were beyond my control.
My family also practiced the Mormon faith, which I loathed with all my being. Religion never made sense to me, and I always questioned all of it throughout my young life. I didn’t like going to church, and always had an eerie feeling walking through the doors. Although the Mormon religion teaches to love one another and show acceptance and understanding for your fellow man, I never felt that from my Sunday school teachers and classmates. I was alienated for being different, and was chastised for praying and meditating in my own way and not in theirs. They tried to convince me that if I didn’t pray in a certain manner, that God wouldn’t hear my prayers… Which I always disagreed with, and knew was false.
Elementary school wasn’t any better, and was extremely difficult for me for many reasons. I was a good student, and received good grades, but I couldn’t connect with my peers, and didn’t have many friends, if any at all. I was bullied for being the loner, the outsider, the creepy girl that wanted to play, ‘haunted house’ while everyone else played the typical, ‘house’. I was never accepted because I was different, quiet, and knew things that were beyond my years that the other children couldn’t begin to understand. I didn’t know what ‘normal’ was, or how to be it. I had no idea how to communicate or make friends on the earth plane, and my life was full of confusion, fear, doubt and pain. I hated going to school, and I hated going home. I didn’t feel safe anywhere I went, and was generally terrified of life.
Jr. High and High School weren’t any better and I progressively became more hateful, angry, and full of rage for everything in my life, with very destructive behavior starting to develop. My dreams became terrible nightmares every night, and insomnia became a way of life. By the age of 14, I began drinking, smoking, and doing other obscene acts that a young teenager should not be indulged in. By then, the darkness had a tight hold on me, and suicide was constantly on my mind, with a few small attempts that lead unsuccessful. I was so hurt, and felt that God and everyone else had abandoned me. I cursed God’s name and renounced him on multiply occasions, leaving myself to believe that I was alone in the world with no support, guidance or love. I had no one to talk to, no one to hug me and tell me that everything was going to be ok. I felt that everyone that came into my life was either going to hurt me, or already had, and my trust in humanity disappeared completely.
But I knew I had to survive long enough to be out on my own, and became the best at hiding emotions, and putting on a front that everything was ok, even if I felt like I were dying inside. I learned early how to go within and hide from myself and the world, and eventually became nothing but numb…I felt ugly, worthless, stupid, and depressed. I didn’t understand why these things were happening to me, and why bad luck continually followed me throughout life. I was stuck in my own hell, unable to see the light at the end of the tunnel… and started to believe there wasn’t one.
As the years crawled by, I left behind me a trail of negativity, and bad relationships while attempting to drink my sorrows away until I was drowning in alcohol. It helped to numb me, and I would drink to the point that I couldn’t feel feelings anymore. It would give me a sense of false happiness for a while, then turn into something ugly and dangerous. I unknowingly unlocked the dark spiritual door of all terrible things and that’s when my life truly began to spiral out of control. I had believed that alcohol was suppressing my natural spiritual gifts, but in reality, only made them stronger and harder for me to ignore. All the while, spirit was trying to contact me, but I continuously slammed the door in their face unwilling to connect, or believe in a God that did this to me.
Unfortunately, I was unknowingly allowing negative entities into my life, that waited for me to become inebriated and then channel through me in a terrible way. They made me violent, aggressive, verbally abusive and soul crushing. On multiply occasions, they would try to harm myself, my husband, and my animals that I loved so dearly. My new marriage, my career, my life was in ruins… I was drowning in a sea of alcohol and despair with no one to pull me out. And in October 2013, only a few months after my marriage, the darkness became so deep that I decided to end my life and suffering for good. After drinking almost a 30 pack of beer, writing a goodbye note on my arm with a pen, and ingesting a whole bottle of sleeping pills, I drifted into unconsciousness awaiting my judgment day.
…But fortunately, God did not call me home, and I decided not to accept my opt out moment. My soul chose to stay on earth to fulfil my destiny, and after a brief hospital stay, I recovered and was able to go home to sort out my life. I knew something very dark was attached to me, and I reached out for spiritual help. After receiving some spiritual healing, and entity removals, I could start to see clearly, and began to change my life, one step at a time. I tried my best to make a shift and think positively, but with alcohol still in my life, I continued to fog my mind, and revert back to familiar ways of thinking. Even so, I was thoroughly working on my spirituality, and healing my relationship with God. And in doing so, helped me forgive myself and others that have hurt me throughout my life.
Then, in August 2016, after many sessions of spiritual healing, the moment finally happened when I drank my last beer. Something spiritually finally shifted, like a light turned on inside me, changing my life forever. It seemed like it happened out of nowhere, and I just didn’t have the craving for alcohol anymore. The chains that held me to that darkness where finally broken, and from that day, I truly began my spiritual journey. Nothing before that seemed to matter, and I devoted my life to serving in the light. After I surrendered my addiction to alcohol, I could finally see that indeed there was a light at the end of the tunnel. Everything I was trying to suppress since childhood, came flooding back into my life, and I began to love myself and others without judgment.
My spiritual training started soon after, and everything began to make sense. After learning about my life script, and that I chose this life and created my script with all the people in it, I accepted that I wrote my life this way, and had to see it through. I understood that everyone is on their own journey, and experiencing what they scripted out on the other side before coming into this life. I know now, that I needed to walk through hell, in order to find my way to heaven. I needed those traumatic experiences in order to learn and overcome my fears, anger and negativity. I now understand my pathway and that this world is a classroom full of chances to learn, teach and grow as spiritual beings.
In my meditations a while back, I began to see this beautiful white Lotus flower in full bloom with a bright gold light surrounding it. After seeing this multiple times, I researched the Lotus flower meaning, and realized that the Lotus represented my life. Each day, the Lotus flower rises out of the mud through the murky water and blooms above the muck below. It radiates its beauty towards the sky, untouched by the darkness that it came from. It does this every day, growing up, and out of that mud to be touched by the light. I understand and compare my life to that of the Lotus, acknowledging the darkness that I overcome every day and shining brightly into the world with positivity and love.
Everyone has the capability to overcome their darkness, and radiate into the world, and I am living proof of that. We wrote out our life scripts before we began this life, and continually learn throughout it. We chose our parents, we chose our relationships, and we chose our lessons, and fates. And through healing, whether it be, physical, emotional, mental or spiritual, we can learn to understand our own journeys, and live a happy, healthy, and love filled life.